I have a confession to make: I’m a fraud. I was at the infusion clinic today getting my treatment and I was legit feeling GUILTY for NOT being at work, while trying to remind myself that my health comes first.
Even though I created spaces for Black women like the Strong Black Woman Redefined Conference and the Strong Black Woman Support Group to empower us to put ourselves first, I still struggle. I’m still recovering from the Strong Black Woman Syndrome.
If you’re dealing with these internal battles, please know you are not alone. So many of us confuse our level of production with our self-worth. Unfortunately, I’m one of those people. I’m working on it, but it really is a daily struggle.
When they say, “Rest is a revolutionary act,” that is no cap. We, as Black women, have been conditioned to believe that our worth is tied to how much we can achieve and how strong we appear. The reality is, our worth is inherent, and it doesn’t require us to be superhuman.
The Myth of the Strong Black Woman
The myth of the Strong Black Woman is one that we’ve internalized deeply. It tells us that we must always be resilient, always be strong, and always be there for others. But the truth is, we are allowed to be vulnerable, to rest, and to take care of ourselves. Our magic doesn’t diminish when we prioritize our well-being—in fact, it shines even brighter.
Creating Spaces for Healing
I created the Strong Black Woman Redefined Conference and the Strong Black Woman Support Group with the intention of dismantling this harmful construct and offering a safe space for us to heal. These spaces are designed to remind us that it’s okay to prioritize ourselves and that self-care is not selfish—it’s essential.
The Daily Struggle
Despite these efforts, I still find myself grappling with the internal struggle. The guilt of not being productive enough or not meeting certain expectations can be overwhelming. But each day, I remind myself that taking care of my health is the most important thing I can do. I’m learning to give myself grace and to celebrate the small victories along the way. One of the ways I do this is by taking a moment to document and consciously acknowledge everything I’ve accomplished—no matter how seemingly insignificant—using my Self-Credit Daily Logs.
You Are Not Alone
If you’re feeling the same way, remember that you are not alone. It’s okay to rest. It’s okay to take a step back. Your worth is not defined by how much you can do or how strong you can appear. It’s defined by the love, compassion, and authenticity you bring into the world.
Rest truly is a revolutionary act. It’s a powerful statement that says, “I matter. My health matters. My well-being matters.” So, let’s continue to support each other, to lift each other up, and to remind ourselves that we deserve the same care and attention we so willingly give to others.
Together, we can redefine what it means to be a strong Black woman—one that includes rest, self-care, and acknowledging our humanity.
Keep shining, sis. Your magic is undeniable, and your humanity is beautiful. 💖✨
Stay Connected: Join us at the next Strong Black Woman Redefined Conference and be part of a community that celebrates and supports you. Join our exclusive Strong Black Woman Support Group (SBWSG) and follow the SBWSG podcast for more insights and encouragement.
Take care + Be well,
Regina Renaye
A Recovering Strong Black Woman
