Loves Me, Loves Me Not: A Lesson in Self-Care

Think back to being a teenager picking a flower then removing petal-by-petal while saying the words “loves me, loves me not.” You wished and hoped the last petal remaining would be “loves me.” The anticipation grew as each petal fell to the ground. The longing for it to be whichever way your heart desired, most often to be loved. When you practice loving self-care, you can always be assured of landing on “loves me.”

How can you be so sure? Taking care of YOU and truly appreciating who you are and all you’ve accomplished in your life is the foundation for practicing loving, self-care. Loving yourself means you are taking a realistic look in the mirror and seeing a reflection of a person you fully accept, just the way you are. Self-care is a very active and powerful choice to engage in the activities required to gain or maintain an optimal level of health—mind, body, spiritual, social, and emotional.

Did you scrunch your nose a bit after reading that sentence because you’re not quite there when it comes to loving your own well-being? Perhaps you aren’t quite as fulfilled or happy as you’d like to be? Friend, keep reading because you are a beautifully perfect-imperfect human being. Learning to accept and cherish who you are is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself. Here’s your personal reminder to never allow anything to keep you from forgetting you are the love of your life. You are deserving. You are enough.


Love & Kindness Exercise

Give this exercise a try. Close your eyes and think about the feelings you experience when you love a pet, your child, your significance other, or when you’re with a good friend. How do you feel when you see them? What does it feel like to be in their presence? Anchor this feeling!

The same efforts you take to help them make their life more enjoyable are the same feelings you are going to relate to yourself, in the same ways. Show yourself the same tenderness and kindness. To help you become more actionable and self-aware do this:

  1. Think of some ways you can practice love and kindness.Make a list.
  2. Write down five ways you can nurture your self-care.Commit to doing these things for yourself.

Be good to your body by eating something healthy. Do something which makes you smile. Create a practice to nurture your mind and spirit. Heal the past. Let go of all the habits and patterns keeping you stuck in place. Release anything which is forming a wall to block you from fully giving and receiving love.


Self-Care for Busy People

You may think you’re too tired or too busy or too fill-in-the-blank with your perceived reason but the reality is these are excuses. Take small steps to begin. Five or ten minutes a day is enough to start. Self-care is necessary for our health and well-being yet oftentimes it’s one of the first things shoved to the back-burner when you’re stretched for time. Without taking excellent care of yourself, you have less to given to others, to your relationships, to your career, and to your creativity.

  1. Assess your current situation. Where are you right now with your self-care? Where are you out of alignment? Identify your biggest barrier because this beast is what you’re going to go after first.
  2. Schedule it. Be intentional about making both effort and time to give yourself what you need. You’ve been doing this for others, show yourself the same types of love, kindness, and care.
  3. Stick to it. Make your self-care a priority and promise yourself, no matter how busy you are. Commit to not letting this slide by the wayside.

Self-care is not selfish. It’s self-honoring. This is absolutely necessary for your physical, spiritual, and mental health. When you practice self-care, you are allowing yourself to be the person you want to be for both yourself and for your loved ones. Never forget, when you practice self-care you don’t have to hope and wish on flower petals. You have this love inside you waiting to be brought into the light.


About Diane Randall

Diane Randall, M.A., is a Whole Living Consultant, author, podcast show host, college instructor, and professional speaker. Her book, Jumpstart Your Life: Find Your Motivation and Change Your Life One Step at a Time, teaches how to take discomfort and reshape it into something transformative and is available on Amazon. Diane is energized, committed, and passionate about leading wellness conversations around life balance, self-care, plant-based nutrition, and whole life wellness. Her joy is when men and women adapt health and wellness methods that reduce stress and bring harmonious balance to their lives. She excels at equipping high-level professionals with workable wellness advice and strategies to fit their demanding lifestyles. For more information visit her website at

Mental wellness is an ever evolving, courageous journey that is yours and yours alone. Own it.

- Regina Renaye

Never Miss An Update!