Not only am I a recovering Strong Black Woman, but I am also a recovering alcoholic.
That’s the REAL tea…
So, today we’re diving into a topic that’s close to my heart and central to our journey as recovering strong Black women—self-care. We hear about it all the time, but let’s be real: when life gets overwhelming, it’s easy to blur the lines between genuine self-care and self-medicating. Trust me, I’ve been there, and I know how easy it is to fall into the trap of thinking that numbing the pain is taking care of yourself. But sis, let me tell you, self-medicating is not self-care.
The Illusion of Control
For a long time, I lived under the illusion that I had everything under control. On the outside, I was the epitome of a strong Black woman—accomplished, ambitious, and always holding it down. But on the inside, I was struggling. The pressure to be perfect, to always be “on,” and to meet everyone’s expectations was crushing me. Instead of asking for help or admitting that I was overwhelmed, I turned to alcohol to numb the pain. It started off as a way to unwind after a long day, but before I knew it, it became my go-to whenever life got too heavy.
Self-Medicating Isn’t Self-Care
Here’s the thing: self-medicating might feel like a quick fix, but it’s a temporary escape that leaves you feeling even worse in the long run. It’s like putting a Band-Aid on a deep wound—it might cover up the problem for a little while, but it doesn’t heal it. And that’s what self-care is really about—healing.
When we self-medicate, whether it’s with alcohol, food, shopping, or anything else, we’re trying to avoid the real work of caring for ourselves. We’re avoiding the tough conversations we need to have with ourselves, the boundaries we need to set, and the help we need to seek out. Real self-care isn’t about escaping reality; it’s about embracing it, even when it’s hard.
The Journey to Real Self-Care
So, what does real self-care look like? It’s different for everyone, but at its core, it’s about nourishing yourself—body, mind, and soul. It’s about setting aside time to do the things that genuinely make you feel good, not just in the moment, but in the long run.
For me, real self-care meant learning to put down the bottle and pick up healthier habits. It meant going to therapy, journaling, meditating, and surrounding myself with a supportive community. It meant learning to say no when I needed to and giving myself permission to rest. It meant showing myself the same love and care that I was so quick to give to others but rarely gave to myself.
Breaking the Cycle
Breaking the cycle of self-medicating is hard, but it’s necessary if we want to live truly fulfilling lives. It starts with recognizing that you deserve better than a temporary escape. You deserve real healing, real joy, and real peace. And that comes from investing in yourself, in your well-being, and in your future.
It’s also about breaking down the toxic belief that as Black women, we have to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders and that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Asking for help is a sign of strength, sis. It’s a sign that you value yourself enough to take the steps necessary to heal.
Aight, I’ma let you go, but just remember…
Self-care isn’t about escaping; it’s about embracing the fullness of who you are, flaws and all. It’s about nurturing yourself with love, compassion, and grace. And it’s about recognizing that you don’t have to go through it alone. If you’re struggling, reach out for support. Tune into the Strong Black Woman Support Group podcast, where we dive into these topics and so much more. And don’t forget to join our community at Mindful + Melanated, where you’ll find a sisterhood that’s here to uplift, support, and remind you that you’re not alone on this journey.
Remember, sis, self-medicating isn’t self-care. True self-care is about healing, growing, and living authentically and joyfully. You deserve that, and so much more.
Take care + Be well,
Regina Renaye
A Recovering Strong Black Woman
